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How to Find the Right Man

Updated: Oct 4, 2019

I have heard that men like confident women. This means that what gets their attention is something deeper that cannot be measured by size, height, external beauty, weight or appearance.


While I believe in the importance of being positioned at the right place at the right time for your potential date to find you, the place will not keep the date but your character will. It could be that you are wasting a lot of valuable time looking for the perfect man, Mr Right or prince charming when you should be investing in yourself more. Let me describe these guys so you can understand them better. The perfect man is already taken. He belongs to someone else; this means he is off limits – because we don’t want to covet our neighbour’s man, let’s move right along.


Next is Mr Right. He has been disappointed in his previous relationship and is looking for the right lady who will not hurt him. He will ask you a question like, “why are you single when you are so pretty” – don’t be offended, he is guarding his heart, he is trying to ensure that you are indeed right for him because appearances will not get him to notice you. Mr Right is looking for the following qualities in the right lady: honesty, trustworthiness, respect, integrity, kindness, and patience.


Prince charming will charm you. He has a twin brother named “knight in shining armour”. Their only calling in life is to rescue a damsel. Prince charming is a man who will stop on the freeway on a rainy day to help change your tyre and will even take your number; but only for the sole purpose of checking to find out if you made it home safe. He is not attracted to you so you will do well not fall in love with him. He could be married, or maybe not, but he is not looking for love. So even if he gave you his number, and you try to call him, he doesn’t answer his phone, (believe me he can see that it’s you calling).


So what is left for you now? Is there someone for you? A BIG YES, THERE IS!!!


Who? A KING!


There is a king for you and you will not have to look for him, he will find you. Maybe you don’t think you deserve a king, but listen to me, you do. You want a man who will love you unconditionally, not because you have been so freshened up and made up that you don’t recognize yourself anymore. You want to be loved. You want a faithful man, one you can trust. You want a man who is kind, who respects you, who recognizes you, and is humble, keeps his promise and is repentant and not proud. These are the character qualities of a king.


In order to attract your king, you will need to change your mind about how you see yourself. You need to stop sending negative, victim, lonely, desperate, mean, sad, broken, arrogant vibes or signals that attract the wrong men. You need to learn to believe that you are worthy of someone better, because you know that you are better. Work on yourself, love yourself, learn to be faithful, learn to trust, be kind to yourself and to people you meet, respect yourself, don’t wink back at anyone who winks at you just because they appear well dressed and driving a nice car and so on. Learn to be humble, don’t make promises you can’t keep and apologize if you have wronged someone.


The above character traits that I am encouraging you to work on are the same character qualities that your king has and this is how he will be attracted to you. He may not even appear to look like a king, he may not be living in a palace yet, maybe he is hiding behind a not so glamorous job, he may be driving a taxi, a truck or works at a supermarket and is renting a room somewhere but don’t be deceived by all that. A man with a good character will make a lot of money if he connects with a like-minded woman – YOU!


By the way, these characteristics will not only help you get a man, they will help you get a job too, potential employers are looking for someone who is trustworthy, confident, honest, a people’s person and so on. Even when you start your own business, you need to have these qualities. Nobody wants to do business with a dishonest person.


In 1 Samuel 35 - Abigail was married to a rich man named Nabal, which means fool, when she met David who was not yet a king. David was hiding in the wilderness at the time and had sent his men to go and ask for some food from foolish Nabal who turned him down and David was planning on killing him when Abigail brought food and begged David not to avenge himself by killing Nabal. He took the meal and thanked her for her good advice and he was captivated by her character. Foolish Nabal died a few days later and David proposed to Abigail and married her. Some things have to die off of you like foolish behaviours so that you can attract your king. So get busy, shed off the load, let go of the wrong behaviour, and watch your king find you.


Thought: 1 Samuel 25:35 – “So David received from her hand what she had brought him and said to her, “Go up in peace to your house. See I have heeded your voice and respected your person”.




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