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This twisted, toxic THING between us is finally finished!

Updated: Apr 7, 2019

In the 2006 movie, The Holiday, Iris (Kate Winslet) suffered from what she called unrequited love in this movie; she had ‘willingly’ loved Jasper who was living his life while enjoying having Iris around, obsessing over him. For three years Iris, felt enslaved by her love for Jasper, who ‘forgot’ to tell her that he was engaged to this girl in the circulation department on the 9th floor of the same company where all of them worked. Jasper was constantly keeping Iris hostage by telling her “I don’t want to lose you”; or “when you get back to London, maybe we can sneak out somewhere together”; or “darling, I’ve travelled half the way around the world to see you”. Sounds familiar? Of course it does.


Iris finally came to herself, and when she did, she was unstoppable. She realized she had wasted so much of her time loving this man who was taking her for a ride. She told him, “I’m miraculously done being in love with you! Ha! I’ve got a life to start living, and you are not going to be in it”. Jasper asked her, “What exactly has got into you?” She said, “I don’t know, but I think what I’ve got is something slightly resembling gumption”. She shut the door on Jasper’s face, raised her hands up, and shouted for joy! She was free – free at last!


Sometimes you can exist for so long without realizing that you are being held hostage by someone, not because you love them, but because of their love for you. I once had such an experience. You see, I had a boyfriend when I was young. After the relationship ended, I met my now ex-husband, married and divorced years later. When I met the old boyfriend, his words were “I am the reason your marriage didn’t last - I have never stopped loving you. I tell everyone how much I love you” I didn’t think much of it then, until years later when he said it again - this time he added, “even my wife knows how much I love you, you will never find anyone who will love you like I do”. I immediately realized how this confession had altered my life - this statement of love and ownership that he had been saying over and over to everyone - even though I wasn’t around to hear most of it. You see, for 10 years after my divorce, I had never met anyone that I was comfortable to date. I would find a reason why I couldn’t be with them - no one was good enough - because someone believed he had ‘ownership rights’ over me - because I wasn’t saying anything to stop him.


When I finally realized it, I immediately put a stop to it! I ‘broke up’ with him, if you will. I told him exactly what Iris told Jasper, that “this twisted, toxic thing between us was finally finished! And I knew it was. I felt free, and I was able to start living my life, and free to love again. I knew God was handling it - finally releasing me from this bondage.


Sometimes you are bound by something as simple as love - or anything really, whatever it is; when you come to the realization and decide to take a stand to break up with it, it is such a liberating experience. You feel like a new person, you find yourself and the ability to move on and live your life again!


Scripture says, “After you have suffered a while, the God of all grace who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself RESTORE, CONFIRM, STRENGTHEN and ESTABLISH YOU” 1 Peter 5:10. To restore is to repair, to bring back to a former position. God will restore you to your perfect self; believe that He will pick you up!


THOUGHT – Isaiah 54:7 – “For a slight (brief, short time) moment have I forsaken (abandoned, deserted) you, but with great mercies, will I pick you up.



#perspective #moveon #newlife

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