We all yearn for love. It is a need we are born with that we cannot ignore. It takes pluck and spunk to be in love though. It is heart-breaking when you find yourself in love with someone who is completely and utterly emotionally unavailable to return your love.
Mary met the love of her life, a doctor when she was a patient in hospital. Her doctor was not able to do the rounds one momentous evening so an extremely friendly and kind doctor who was checking his patients checked on Mary as well. He pulled a chair and closed the curtain around Mary’s bed, he asked her as he sat down if she understood her disease and the process to cure her that was about to unfold in a few weeks, it turned out that she was clueless. So the doctor then explained her disease by telling her a story of wolves and rivers and hunters and ploys and snares, all of which she understood, coming from a family where her father used to tell stories. Heavily sedated Mary found herself falling headfirst for the doctor who was not aware of his effect on the vulnerable patient. Fast forward three years, there's a child, another on the way, and she is wondering why he is not able to commit to her. The thing is he has never, not once declared his love for her. She has been going at it solo all this time.
Life is empty without love. In our endeavor to fill the void, it is possible to find ourselves thinking that we have found love, or that we have found friendship just because we have connected in some way with what the people we think we love or are friends with are about. The tragedy is when we are oblivious of how they see us; when someone sees you as a client or a needy stranger when you, on the other hand, are having sleepless nights unable to eat, you are there tossing and turning, all sweaty at night unable to sleep or even think, at least about nothing but the butterflies in your stomach when the culprit is out there living his/her best life unmindful of your aching heart.
Many people find themselves stuck and trapped, unable to enjoy their lives, unable to love the right people because they are halted thinking wishfully that one day, the loved person might catch a wake-up and realize what a catch they are. I hate to break it to you, he/she will not, save yourself the agony of a one-sided, going-nowhere relationship and do it fast, here is how:
· Question intentions: be curious as to why people come into your life, are they here because they love you, are they here to stay or are they just “Passin’Through” like the title of my favourite western fiction novel by Louis L’Amour stated. The novel is about a cowboy with a shiny gun on his sling who was on his way to a destination known only to himself when he came across a ranch owned by a beautiful ex-actress whose place needed some work and he needed to hide for a while. A man like that was on a mission and that did not include settling on the ranch and having 2.5 kids with the lonely, grey-haired, ex-actress who also desperately needed to be taken care of. I wrote an article about how not to fall for someone out to help you a while ago entitled How to find the right man.
· Guard your heart: Qualify people who come into your life, not everyone has to have the liberty, guts, and access to lay their head freely on your bosom unless you have really opened the door of your heart and welcomed them in. You have to willingly open your arms intentionally and say, “welcome ye few and faithful”. Set boundaries and be careful that you are not so trusting that you open yourself for disappointment, frustration, hurt and pain.
If you find yourself stuck in the pain of loving someone who is not able to return your love, I want you to realize that it is your choice to continue to love them willingly. Desire to be free of the chains that bind you. Understand that while you wait for this person to see your worth, you are sabotaging yourself of the joy of meeting someone who could be willing to love you the way you deserve to be loved.
Let me help you move on and be free. Take advantage of the never to be repeated, end of the decade reduced price of R600.00 for three sessions; which is 1 hour per week for three weeks. I want you to be free! So let’s do this.